Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World by Scott Shigeoka

“Did you know that curiosity is your superpower?” heads the book jacket’s intriguing invitation to read Scott Shigeoka’s Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World. The book jacket’s description certainly piqued my curiosity. I wanted to learn to ask more interesting questions because of my father’s habit of asking us kids at the dinner table, “What good questions did you ask at school today?” Note: He didn’t ask the expected question, “What did you learn?” His question instead implied we should proactively engage with people and information. Decades later—and I suppose more recently reminded by the Ted Lasso mantra unfurling on neighbors’ front-porch flags, Be Curious, Not Judgmental—I wanted to learn how to follow Dad’s wisdom. Shigeoka’s book, Seek, delivered more than I could have asked or imagined.

 

Shigeoka introduces concepts like deep curiosity and predatory, agenda-driven curiosity. He addresses different curiosity blocks, such as bias, assumption, and fear of uncertainty, and he offers hints to surmount such obstacles. Curiosity opens our worlds to other viewpoints and parts of people we might not see in normal, mundane, fact-exchanging conversation. But curiosity toward ourselves is also horizon-expanding. It leads us to apply self-compassion and come out the other side of life’s destabilizing events with renewed, hopeful, wiser perspectives. In promoting openness and curiosity, Shigeoka emphasizes the importance of listening. But he also advises how to discern when it’s best to listen and when to speak.

 

Seek is well-researched. Shigeoka presents concepts supported by psychological and behavioral studies as well as insights of writers and poets. With humility and humor, he includes stories from his own curiosity journey. I appreciated that he goes beyond educating the reader; I found this book very encouraging as well. In a culture where the most opinionated screamer appears to win, we need courage to move toward people with open, quiet, genuine curiosity.

 

Speaking of courage, one practice worth mentioning in more detail is “Become an Admitter.” On page 101, Shigeoka recaps four detaching strategies, one of which is admitting when you’re wrong. Enter a conversation with openness to (1) discover another view but stand pat with your own and (2) be willing to reroute your own thinking. He says, “See admitting being wrong as an act of intellectual humility that leads to better communication, relationships, leadership, and life satisfaction. You can do this by saying ‘Tell me more’ when you’re told you’re wrong, prioritizing learning and growth, and reminding yourself that humans are wired for forgiveness.”

 

As for learning to follow my dad’s example, I did pick up further inspiration and plenty of examples of good questions to be asking people. One in a list Shigeoka gives reminded me of the Seek book jacket: “What is a superpower you have that helps you or others?”